Hello dear family and friends,
I’m trying to give you a sample of what my side effects are like. I had chemo as usual on Friday, but didn’t have the usual energy boost, so had a nap and late walk and fuzzy evening. Saturday was similar, so I hope I get a pass on not blogging. Sunday we went to 7:30 Mass for Palm Sunday I woke up after extensive and on-going dreams that I had to get ready for tennis, because I was going to play Martina Navartolova (one of the all-time great women players). This mental thing is sort of typical; I get very energetic in my mind and plan all kind of things – and my sub-conscious seems to still be working things out. These projects don’t get done, and often don’t even make a list. Later on Sunday reality was tough because one of my tennis groups called to check in and see if I wanted to come over to the court, and watch or even play. Sunday was probably my worst day on chemo, and so I wasn’t able to play or catch up. I know I will play again, and that is a good motivator. I love tennis for fun, and have been taking lessons for about 10 years. Some of you remember playing in Falls City; we all learned and played with Dad. In college I had a chance to take tennis in PE, but figured I already knew what I needed, and took Ballet, which I loved. Anyway, I had a lot to learn, am still learning, and found that I could play 5 times a week last summer. So, of all my projects it gives me the most energy. If you remember the Gospel from Sunday, it is totally, “the Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

It has been fun to see how many other folks enjoy BB. We are big ND fans. Clark and Luke both graduated from ND. Luke, who is our total natural athlete, participated in many sporting activities at ND. He started out in men’s lacrosse, trying out for Varsity level, but got injured. He then started with the boxing program, and Bookstore Basketball, which is very competitive intra-mural BB, ending in a big playoff and tourney. In senior year, maybe junior also, he played with a group of guys who scrimmaged with the women’s BBteam, so we have continued to enjoy the women’s team. Tonight is the NCAA women’s finals, so we are expecting great things.

I probably won’t do another greeting, so I want to wish you Happy Holy Week and Easter. Hope the earth is springing wherever you live. I am trying to also e-mail each of you, eventually, so do know how much I appreciate hearing from everyone. Do keep up the prayers- that is my deepest energy.

Love Annie/Noel

Hello dear family and friends,

Some days it is hard to blog, but today there is lots to say so I have to be sure to get to the point. I will start with what most of you really want to know– and that is how I am feeling and doing- more than what I am doing with my spare time. Anyway, I keep getting very positive numbers on my blood work, which gives you all of the factors- so my vital organs are doing well despite the Chemo, my red blood cell actually went up on its own, (which means that the anemia is still there, and a big factor, but not getting worse, and my CA125 show that the cancer is much more inactive-great numbers there. For those of you more technically inclined, I still have some fluid, ascites in the abdomen, but it also has lessened and the docs are pleased. I was such a mess when I came in they keep telling me it is a wonderful surprise to see how well I’m doing. Yea! Now, feeling. I still go to Chemo once a week on Fri. I think the week is much less predictable, but thankfully the last two Fri., including yesterday, I did get the big energy boost when I needed it. Things are still going well on Sat. My expectation from the last several times is that when the boost is there, the down hill is more intense and may go Sun.-Wed. or Thurs. I just can’t predict. The down time is esp. marked by fatigue. My abdominal pain is still like bloating, gas, and cramping, which I’m working on with diet. I also have a good appetite and have now gained a full 10 lbs. So, with my wonderful friends and neighbors who bring healthy organic food M,W,F, this is still very doable. So, in the last lap of the Chemo I am to expect the maximum side effects because the toxins are at their peaks, but I’m getting such good help, and I’m sure the energy of your prayers and support are the surprise factors. My clearest jobs, get good sleep, walk and exercise as much as I can, gain some weight, and eat and cook healthier than ever before.

So, other news. Two great weekends, seeing Clark’s brother, Jim, Jolanne, and their son Matthew, who is in the Bay area for a year of doctoral work, and Luke, who was home for the weekend of Spring break from 2nd year of Law School. Ellen was able to join us for dinners and visiting. We enjoyed St. Paddy’s day and a great East Indian dinner that Ellen cooked on Sun. Clark, Ellen and I also went to a great Spices/Nutrition- Cooking demo. with my nutritionist. Sharon Meyer, thru the Marin Gen. Integrative program, for those of you in Marin. Again, we learned primarily about Indian spices and how good they are for lots of digestive issues, and anti-cancer cooking. Turmeric and cinnamon are some of the best to start with and can be used in about anything.

And the most exciting news is that Salesian High School sent both boys and girls basketball teams to the CA state championship games on Fri. in Sacramento. There are 5 division, made by size of the school. We are D4, which is the second smallest and is 500-7 or 800, I think. Needs a fact check, but we are a school of about 530.
To qualify for the State Championship a school has to have beaten the best school in our geographical area, and size division in the state- North and South. We have been in it three of the last four years and won it three years ago, and yes,the boys won yesterday by a score of 70-56, which doesn’t indicate how tight a game it was, but they did a great job. The girls, who are a very young team, also went, and played hard, but faced a team ranked third in the country and went down by about 30 pts. First time the girls have qualified, but not the last. It was also such fun to see a lot of the Salesian faculty, and so many parents and alums I have known thru the years. As you can tell, Clark and I love basketball, so I still had to do my chemo in the a.m. and the Clark had to take the day, and we went to Sacramento. Love to you all. Do keep up the prayers. So good to hear from so many of you, and slowly, but surely I will get notes off to everyone. Hope the blog helps.

Love Noel/Annie

Dear Family and Friends,
We have had a drought-dry winter in CA., so I have been spoiled in being able to get out and walk every day. This week we are having a long awaited winter storm, and have predictions for a rainy week, so Alleluia, but I do have to be creative about my exercise schedule. I probably will drag out our old Nordic track, or go back to mat work with yoga or pilates. Should have been doing that anyway, but walking and getting outside seems better.
My treatment news is that I am halfway thru my chemo this Fri. I had a Cat Scan on Mon., which will be a progress report on how things are going. The weekly reports are still good; I have a couple days a week when I have better energy, and I think the anemia is getting better, or at least is passable, and I get weekly shots to improve it. Next week, Mar. 23, I see my surgeon also, so I’m sure he will report to Clark and me on Fri. about the results of the scan. I’m still eating healthily, 5 times a day, but just maintaining, not gaining any weight.
My school, Salesian High School, Richmond, is still in the BB playoffs- both the boys and the girls. We have had fun going to several games. Wed. is the last one we’ll be able to get to- but it is great fun to see the faculty, many parents and friends, and of course the students. We have a good chance to play for the state championship again.
We have a busy weekend with Luke home for spring break from Law School, and Clark’s brother and wife, Jim and Jolanne, in town from Seattle to visit their son and girlfriend. We’ll go out for dinner, with the group and Ellen, Fri. and then have a St. Paddy’s Day dinner Sat. Happy day to all of you who celebratae. We were the Sacred Heart Irish in school, and the Sisters of Charity had strong Irish roots, and all Catholic kids in our town could look up to the ND Irish, and my Mom went to St. Mary’s, (across from ND). So, we always celebrated St. Paddy’s Day somehow, somewhere, and still do.
So, thought for the day What am I missing? I just missed one of the very best weekends of the year when a scrapbooking group goes to Tahoe, and scrap ’til we drop. I just couldn’t do it this year. It does make me look at things and realize I will possibly not have another time when I do have all of this time, and rich opportunity to be. One of the best blessings of the whole time has been getting back in touch with so many of you. Will close now. Should have more news next week.
Love
Noel/Annie

Hello dear family and friends,
Didn’t get my blog out on Fri. as hoped, because I didn’t get my energy burst from the prep drugs. Oh well, I just seem to think I have a pattern and it changes. My report before chemo was very positive, with the usual expected side effects of anemia, and low red blood cell count. My new project is trying to understand the blood test results better. Next big test is a CAT scan, about half-way thru the chemo. I then also see my surgeon, but will take the next three wks to get it all accomplished.
The promised side effect of losing my hair is also getting far along. I had cut my hair from collar length to a boy cut to make this easier. I attended a class in make-up and wigs, with the intention that if you—Look Better –Feel Better. All this seemed very strange, but it was a boon to know it ahead of time and be able to prepare. My hair has always been unusually thick, so it helped to see some wigs while I still had the thickness.
My students used to spread the myth that I wore a wig. After I learned what they were doing it was great fun to see the strategies for checking it out. The best and boldest was when one of the Frosh boys came up to my desk, and greeted me with a Wha’s Up Ms. Stanton, and a friendly pat on the head. I’m sure he was crushed that my hair didn’t move. There were a few small bets on that one. I have probably lost about 5 layers by now, and have about one to go with a tonsure-like spot. So, I do have 2 wigs, that are necessities. It has been Calif. cold, but I am constantly chilled, or uncomfortable unless overdressed. I have been wearing ski-silks even around the house to help- so the wigs and hats are in constant use as well. My matching wig is very close to my hair color and texture. My wild one is just longer and more swishy- good for a change.
My two biggest outings have been Farmer’s Market, esp. for fish and vegetables. Clark has been doing the shopping since Jan, so he has learned the whole organic picture, and we’re almost all changed over. I have now started going with him for short trips. Our really big outings have been going to high school basketball playoffs. We saw Marin Catholic boys and girls last weekend, and then Sat. we saw, my school, Salesian boys and girls win the North Coast Regionals. We now go on to Nor Cal. more northern CA teams compete to see who goes to play the winner in our division from Southern CA. I get tired, but the excitement helps.
This is very wordy, but I do have to tell you Clark has a new level in paradise, for installing, and selecting my new HP Touch Smart 420, all in one. The issue was being able to transfer data from my ailing, growling, failing computer to the new one. It was tedious and slow to the extreme-but hopefully it’s almost done. Aren’t we lucky to have our own Tech guy. I had better close. Thanks to everyone for staying in touch. I hope I can respond better now that I have the new computer. Do continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I do you.
Love Annie/Noel

Hello dear family and friends,
I didn’t make my Fri. post as promised, but it is only Sat. and it will go out today. After my two toughest weeks in chemo, I had my best 4 days, so that is a lot easier to blog about. Our conclusion about those two wks. was that my red blood cell count was continuing to drop, and the chemo was working well. They began giving me an injection of pro-crit., which was to help with the anemia, and after those two weeks, it began to raise my level.

The numbers won’t mean much but due to chemo I am now and probably remain 3 pts. under what is normal, but that is one the chemo’s effects. It is just somuch better, even up a pt. and a half. The appetite news is still good, and am religiously eating 5 times a day. All of this has to be healthy, high good carbs and hi good fat. Weekends, if I feel good are the biggest challenge because I always drop a bit, and then get back to the same weight during the week. Anyway, who do you know who eats 2eggs and 2 toasts, plus fruit and coffee with whole milk, almond or cocomut and goes on to have sandwiches, bananas- cereal, whole fat Greek yogurt, and pasta, organic pot pies, mac and cheese, or lasagne and fruit for lunch. Anyhow, for you skeptics, this is plus lots of protein, vegetables, smoothies(no sugar) and whole grain breads for dinner. I have a wonderful group of neighbors and friends who fix us dinner on M.W.F. and that really keeps me on the mend. That is more detail than anyone needs. Probably more helpful to me than you, but since 50, my metabolism had slowed down so much, and it was a constant fight to keep the lbs. off.

I don’t think I have mentioned that my sisters, Ellen and Sarah traveled to India for 2 1/2 wks in mid. Jan. Clark’s brother, John and his wife just left for 3 wks. in India, and we have several other friends who have been or are going. It is great to have Ellen back in Mill Valley, about 20 min. from us, and of course, she, being a foodie, is exploring lots of Indian cooking and spices. Also, so many of them are right up there in all the anti-cancer cookbooks. And of course, they don’t eat meat, except goat meat. That is going to be challenging, but we do have it at local Farmers’ Markets, and is grass-fed and monitored. We are getting so many good ideas. I’m delighted to see my good friend, Sr. Noreen Walter is now facilitating a weekly group for Weight Watchers, and of course, helping folks to re-learn how to cook.

I am on a schedule today, to take my walk at 1:30, followed by nap, early dinner, Mass, and BBPlayoffs at Marin Catholic, just so you don’t think I never do anything. This busy, is first, so we’re going to try. I’m still high on my steroids from Fri. My school, Salesian is also in BB playoffs, so this is also a trial run for Salesian, next week. Please do continue to keep me in your prayers, as I do you.
Love
Noel/Annie

Dear Friends and Family,
I am sorry for this long delay. Yes, I’d say bogged down is an understatement. I have decided many days to do a brief blog and then it just doesn’t happen—–so, I’ve got be more creative, but I do so want to be able to stay in touch. Thank you so much for your comments and input. I will respond personally eventually. Sorry, I’m so slow.
So, the chemo is working hard, hopefully making the cancer even more miserable than it is making me. A little glimpse into life. One of our teaching mantras is “Life is what happens when you’ve planned something else.” My best days after my weekly Fri. chemo are the rest of the day after my nap on Fri., and Sat. until about 5 P.M.- so we at least have a little weekend time. Sun.’s used to be easier, but have changed. So some fun things, Clark and I drove to Santa Rosa for an appointment, and then went to a great spice store. Our friend Bob Wicker from MN. told us about it. So many of cancer fighting foods are connected to herbs and spices. We are learning so many things. More later. Penzey’s is a great place to learn about spices and herbs- smell, taste, and buy small quantities. I am going to send this now, but will get back within a week. Please do keep me in your prayers and thoughts.

Love Noel/Annie

Hello from Recovery central,
I have now had my first three chemo doses. So far I have tolerated it very well. As Clark explained in an earlier post I am on weekly reduced amounts of Taxol, as part of the study. This is to see if having it weekly is more effective than a larger blast every 3 weeks. So, so far so good. As an amateur at this process I do realize that the idea is as the treatments progress the toxicity builds, so the side effects will probably change. But for now it is so exhilirating to have something good to report.

Actually the drugs that they give to prepare for the Taxol seem to work very well and even give me a comfortable day on Fri. with good energy after my nap. As the week goes by about the worst so far is I do slip into some fuzzy fatigue times. Not tired enough to sleep, but not any umph to do much else. The Australian Open has just been my best buddy over the last two weeks. I do still love to play tennis, and was so lucky to be able to play 5 times a week most of the summer. So that’s a big healing, strengthening goal for me.

And now for the best news of all. My appetite has returned, and almost all of the food aversion is gone. This is a huge part of my healing, and so starting back from 34 lbs. lost, I have gained back 9. Because cancer is a wasting disease this is just critical to being able to fight back. So I’m sure you can tell I am more than elated. Thank you for checking in, it is comforting for me to know I can at least share the good news with you.

You are in my prayers and thoughts, as I know I am in yours.

Annie/Noel

I have savored, shared, and prayed this meditation since the late 70’s when I was a student at GTU in Berkeley. Hope it resonates with you.

I Rest This Day in God

I do not seek the comfort of a guarantee that all my tomorrows
will be safe, and sure, that strength will be mine at a single time
to carry all my needs in the days ahead. This would be much, too much
for such a one as I.
I rest this day in God.

I put in a single place all the pieces of my erring ways,
the urgent thoughts both good and bad, together with my rights and wrongs.
All in a single place they go. Here they lie where all is loss
and all is gain, for they are mine. As for me—
I rest this day in God.

I do not seek to cast aside the burdens which are mine,
to find some easy way to lift the heavy load,
to shift to other backs what has found its way upon my own.
They are mine, shaped and fashioned in their own sure place- why?
I am never sure.
I rest this day in God.

Dr. Howard Thurman

Dr. Thurman was a mentor for Dr. King. He was a Baptist minister greatly influnced by Ganhdi and the Quakers.

Noel/Annie

Noel started chemotherapy this morning at the California Cancer Center in Marin. She’s doing a clinical study called GOG-0262 (GOG stands for Gynecologic Oncology Group, which is a national research group affiliated with the National Cancer Institute) and was ‘randomized’ into a group that receives part of her chemo every week instead of every three weeks, which is the customary standard for her disease. Other than that, it is the same chemo drugs as the standard therapy. There is an additional but optional drug in the study called Avastin. You may have read about Avastin as it has been in the news lately. It’s made by Genentech (now owned by Roche), and they’ve been pushing to get it approved for as many forms of cancer treatment as possible. It seems to work well for some, but the FDA recently declined to approve it for breast cancer and last month they reported only mixed results of its effectiveness in two ovarian cancer studies. Overall it seemed to offer relatively little, even if it worked, so after weighing benefit versus toxicity, we decided not to include that in the study. The chemo runs for a full 18 weeks.

We are doing our best to take an integrative approach to this. Last week we had an 80 minute consultation with Dr. Donald Abrams who is head of the Integrative Oncology program at UCSF. His primary area of focus is nutrition and anti-inflammatory foods, and he just published a book, “Integrative Oncology,” which he co-authored with Andrew Weil (the doctor in Arizona with the big beard).

The book to start with, though, is probably “Anticancer” by David Servan-Schreiber. We actually had been eating pretty well – Annie gets vegetable hungry like few people I’ve ever known, and I’ve been eating a vegetarian lunch for several years – but we learned a lot from the meeting with Dr. Abrams. We also got some great materials, including recommendations for cookbooks and other resources (e.g., “Foods to Fight Cancer” and “The Cancer Fighting Kitchen”). I’m happy to share the information Dr. Abrams provided if you wish (just let me know). Anyway, the result is that we’re buying a bunch of different foods and eating even better now; I even cooked kale for the first time this week and it was great. Fortunately we have great resources here in the Bay Area, including a wonderful farmers market nearby.

Thanks to everyone for your support. It means a lot to her, especially as she enters this next phase.

Clark

Hello dear family and friends,

Since I have been too busy to blog, I guess you’ve also been too busy to check in. Well, despite all reationalizations it is good to be back in touch. Christmas/New Years was bustling time, even for me in recovery, so I can only imagine what most of you had going. Slowing down to our pace had some definite advantages. As a family we definitely spent more time together, and much less time shopping and even cooking. I say that although the cooking was shared between my sisters, Sarah and Ellen, and Clark and Luke. I still don’t have much of an appetite, but really have to force myself to down calories.

I probably have said before that I lost 30 lbs. between Mid-Oct. and several weeks after surgery, so eating and nutrition become major medical issues. Clark and I have considered ourselves quite careful about our eating, dieting, taking supplements, and at least periods of monitoring sweets, and drinking. We both also had worked on healthy exercise habits, with me really working on it over the last 2yrs. Because I was working three days a week, it opened up some reallly good classes in Yoga and Pilates that I esp. loved. So, we do need to add organic and many anti-cancer type recipes into our cooking. Meanwhile, I’m just looking for those big times calories. Two examples I’ve found that I haven’t touched for years are mac and cheese and pot pies. Also milk shakes and Ensure are highly recommended. On exercise, one of the real pleasure of the holidays was taking walks- slow and short at first, but now I’m getting up to 10-12 blocks. Yesterday Clark and I walked over to the Marina across the way and took a rest on a sunny bench, and then walked home. We also took Luke’s dog, Mary Jane, with us, and she decided to go chase some coots into the water, so that added some excitement. I generally think those walks have been a joy and major stress relief for us all.

We have decided to do our chemo phase in Marin, at the Marin Oncology Center. It has all of the advantages of the city, and is so much more do-able. At this point we are going to participate in a study offered at the center which has advantages of some extra monitoring. I still need a lot of energy, and have daily issues to get thru. Over the holidays, when I knew things would go late, I allowed myself two-a-days—naps, and it really helped. I was worried that being in bed too much would set back my recovery, but I now think the naps are a key. Sometimes I only sleep for 30-40 min., but it makes a big difference.

New project this week looking at wigs, hats and scarves, since it is inevitable that I will lose my hair. Fun!

I’ll close now, with wishes and prayers that 2012 will be a great blessing bringing healthy challenges and changes and newness in your lives.

Love Noel /Annie