Lots of short visits the last few days with family and friends, coupled with a requested change in the hospice team – all tiring but good. Today Annie’s a little weaker, tired and unsteady on her feet. The new hospice nurse was by this morning and is wonderful. Pain still not an issue, while dizziness and nausea still persist. Her BP was down while her heart rate was up, which are not good signs but expected parts of the process. We were cautioned not to be surprised if her condition deteriorates in the next weeks, even days. But she’s still “all there” mentally and she’s aware of your prayers and support. No one could have better friends than she does.

A short Tuesday report. Noel seems to have reached a sort of plateau since last week. Pain is not currently an issue – she consistently reports little to no pain (zero or 1 on a scale of 1 to 10) – but dizziness and nausea persist. Some pleasant surprises as well – she has eaten some each day – today a fruit smoothie Luke made, Sunday some “cactus” quesadilla, and often some fruit of some sort. Recently she asked for a calendar so that she can see what has been and know what is coming, and last Friday she said she should get her hair done, so her hair dresser is coming today. In addition to all the family who are, or have been, here she has also had some nice (and very short) visits from some neighbors and close friends. All in all, some small pleasures.

This is Clark. I never wanted to have to post again on Noel’s blog but while I know she would like to do it herself she’s just not able to.

Yesterday we enrolled Noel in hospice. It has all happened so suddenly and so fast it’s hard to believe. It was just one week ago today that the issue of hospice was first raised in a visit to her oncologist’s office. We were still planning on doing an assessment at MD Anderson in Houston, which was scheduled for next week. Unfortunately, it has become evident that hospice is the right call.

About three weeks ago Noel’s health took a significant downward turn. She was not feeling particularly well in June and early July but she made a real effort to make things seem as usual while John was home from Japan. Then, just after John left, the bottom fell out; it was so sudden it was almost like falling off a cliff. She suddenly found it increasingly difficult to eat and keep her nourishment up, and as a result she has lost an incredible amount of weight and is weaker each day. She knows how important this is and is trying very hard to eat and take in nutrition but her cancer is making intake of food, even liquids like Ensure, very hard for her. If she continues to be unable to eat, this could go pretty fast. They make Nebraskans tough, and she’s as tough as they come, but not invincible it seems.

John and Luke arrive today, so she will have them here. Her sister Ellen is here constantly and her cousin Rosemary Murphy just flew in from Kansas. Her sister Sarah will be coming from Denver next week or sooner.

Please keep Annie in your prayers.

Clark

Dear Family and Friends,

A remarkable event this year, the first time I’ve gone through a May, without having my inner eye on all of the exam schedules and graduation events at Salesian and Marin Catholic. Congratulations to all of you administrators, faculty, and staff, because no one knows what it takes to keep the school year going, let alone finish it, and see that class through the years. You certainly share a totally unique profession. I do miss you all, but when I thought of friends and colleagues this year, it didn’t lead to finals etc.

My cancer update is fairly similar. I still receive chemo every two weeks in Marin, and it does hit my energy level with full force. Although we watch all of the blood chemistry closely, I often have low red cells and hemoglobin which also bring on a level of anemia and fatigue. Chemo is cumulative, and so it is also no surprise that its effects are strong. At this stage I don’t get much of a break in a 2 wk. period, but there are periods in each day when I have a breather. No tennis yet, but my friend Arlene took me out last week to at least hit the ball a bit and try to check balance and movement. I also went over to the court on Sat. to see folks, and got to see some great tennis.

We did go to Chicago in mid-May, and had an unusually good social schedule. Our Dr. is way north in Lake Forest, but we do have some friends who are fairly close-given Chicago. We also had the chance to see our friend Karen Christensen from Santa Cruz, who was in town to see Dr. Deng. We had a good chance to catch up with her at lunch and dinner. The most amazing visit was being able to see one of my college roommates, Pat Stack O’Brien. We have been working on a time to get together, but happily she spent some of this brutal winter in Florida. We have been in touch over the last few years, but this is the first time we had seen each other in over 50 years. Was wonderfully natural and easy and fun. Unfortunately, we missed seeing Sue and Rich Mellado and Karen for dinner, because I started having some problems, and ended up in the ER. They did some tests and gave me some fluids and pain medicine, and we did leave for home the next day as scheduled. Sue and Rich, so sorry to have missed seeing you.

So, on the home front, Clark attended his big high school reunion in Tulsa, OK, and had a great time. It is never the same since the Stantons have died, but Tulsa is still very special. Ellen is doing a lot of hiking and training to do a 2 wk. hiking trip in Austria. She works on lots of steps and hills, plus trying to increase distances. I think the hiking on the trip averages 10-12 miles a hike. Sarah will be coming for a visit in late June/July when John will also be home. Luke will have to see what works out for him. He is very busy at the firm, but has moved to a new apartment which has been great. John is in spring season, and recently found out they are going to have him play line-backer as well as offense. They had a key lb injured. It will be great to have him home for his summer visit.

I have a major challenge in getting out into the garden to get the tomatoes in. I usually do well with tomatoes, basil, and a few herbs. As with many things, I should have had them in by now. I was very happy to make my Bible study group this week at St. Raphael’s. I so often am gone or have treatment on the day they meet. We do have Book Club at my house in June, and are reading The Zealots, so that has been some good reading, but heavy stuff. Am very excited about a Ladies’ overnight where we will do assorted crafts. All of us at one point did scrapbooks, and most people have moved on into many areas, so it will be fun to see. I still have scrapbooks to finish or re-do.

So do know I love hearing from you, and am sorry I don’t do a better job of responding. It is a crucial area I know I want to improve, and would be so satisfying. Please do remember us in your thoughts and prayers as we do you.

Love
Annie/Noel

Happy Eastering and Springing everyone,

After this amazing winter, I hope you all are experiencing some good April weather. Our trips to NY and Chicago this year gave us a real taste of winter. As I usually do, I want to give a health report first, to get it over with. I know my descriptions have been confusing, so I am going to answer some of the questions I have gotten. I now have been able to receive my chemo therapy in Marin since the end of Feb. The NY clinic sets up the program, and we can do it here. We travel to Chicago once a month to do Chinese acupuncture with Dr. Deng, who has had a good record with ovarian cancer. The current chemo is quite strong although I get the drugs in reduced levels. It continues to be a struggle, and my energy level takes a nosedive. I get the treatment every two weeks, so at the end of the second week I get a little revived. I haven’t played tennis since mid Jan., but still look forward to getting back to it. I have to get really motivated to keep up my walking, but that’s a necessity of life.

We had a fairly busy Easter. After Mass and the Farmer’s Market we fixed appetizers for Easter dinner at a friends. Now this amazing woman returned home from a trip on Thurs. and had to teach on Mon. and had 30+ people for Easter dinner. She has two darling 20 & 30 something daughters who each had about 10 friends, plus our older group. It was great fun to see an Easter egg hunt, followed by cocktails. Really a fun group and a great dinner. Ellen was still on her trip to the South, and spent Easter with Larry Darveau and his family in Hilton Head, SC.

My true highlight of this spring and this letter is our 13 day Pilgrimage to the Holy Land- Israel and Jordan. We were invited by John and Kathy Stanton to join this group, which had strong connection with their parish in Houston. The chaplain and co-guide was Msgr. Rossi from the parish. The unusual nature of the group was that it was sponsored by the Order of the Holy Sepulchre, which goes back to the Crusades, and which continues to support the Christian sites in the Holy Land, as its mission. We had 12-15 folks in the group who were either members, or being honored as a part of the pilgrimage. We had Mass every day, which was always a major privilege to be able to do, and it was very enriching.

We flew from Houston to Istanbul, and then to Tel Aviv, so we traveled by bus once we left Tel Aviv. The bus was actually a lot of fun, and a chance to get to know people. We are sure our back of the bus gang had the most fun. I’m not going to try any kind of daily itinerary, but some of the highlights were a boatride on the Sea of Galilee, going down to the banks of the Jordan, renewing our wedding vows at Cana, views from Mt. Tabor, Nebo, and the remarkable landscape of both countries, Petra, an ancient city carved out of the rock cliffs, the 3rd world Bedouin camps, getting across the borders of both countries, Bethlehem, Mt. Zion and the Mt. of Olives, and just so many places in Jerusalem. The Stations of the cross and the ceremony at the Holy Sepulchre were all amazing and inspiring. The people in our group were also a source of faith and reverence. Our last stop was 5 days in Jerusalem, so we really did get to see the city. If it was in the New Testament we saw it or heard about it. Clark and I took our free afternoon to visit the Holocaust Museum. It was beautifully and painfully done, but a memorable day.

So how did the “sickie” do all of this, and all I can say is that I have no idea. My energy was very good, and I had Clark beside me, and I think the fact that we had short outings and then got back on the bus, got water etc., and the weather was 60’s- 70’s, really helped. The other very weird thing was that I had a ravenous appetite, which thrived in all of the hotel buffets. We didn’t do many long walks, but there were always steps and more steps, and several walks at least a couple of miles. Toward the end I did have the luxury of skipping a couple of activities and getting back to the hotel.

Now as marvelous as our trip was, it was just such fun to have time with John and Kathy. We were all in the “back of the bus”, and John and Clark do get going. We also had special time with them in Houston before we left on the trip, and a day when we returned. We had a family dinner at a great Italian restaurant, and got to catch up with Mary and Bobby Stanton and their families. Our biggest surprise was that Mary had gotten Luke to come in for the dinner—so it was a fun gathering.

So, Palm Sunday and Holy Week had a very different, textured feeling this year. We were really buoyed along on the pilgrimage by the faith of our fellow travelers. There was just a real presence, no matter what kind of a situation we were in. I’m not going to make a lot of political statements, but what we did see on the trip were the ancient and new lines drawn between the people living and trying to live in Israel. We traveled with the Palestinian and Jordanian Catholic, Christian perspective, and it was so abundantly clear how much more there was. We saw many other touring groups from everywhere, and the Arab/Muslem groups and African groups were some of fascinating ones. IF anyone plans to go, I would just say to really check out the tour group to get what you want. Our company was called Inspirational Tours, Inc. We had a very experienced Palestinian professional guide, as well as Michelle Malloy and Msgr. Rossi, who worked with all of the logistics.

So, sorry again that I don’t do a better job of writing. Seems like there is always some block—too much going on or too little. Do know I love hearing from you, and know that you continue to pray for us and we do for you.

Love and prayers Annie/Noel

Dear Family and Friends,

I hope I have your attention and that you haven’t given up on me. I really go into my social zombie motif when too much is going on. I have to get this off tonight for several reasons—I have the help of some steroids from todays chemo, I have my regular keyboard, and we are off for Houston, and then the Holy Land for 12 days. So, I do want to make contact, and know I need to. I am especially happy to tell you that we are now transitioned to chemo at home in Marin. I am “almost” giddy about being able to do my chemo. The new program is going well, and my tumor markers are slowly lowering. I have the process for 2 consecutive days every two weeks, and I do feel more energy in the second week.

Last week we traveled to Chicago to work with Dr. Deng, a Chinese acupuncturist. We have experienced the winter between NY and now Chicago. We have good warm clothes from MN days. It was fun to see Jack and Kathy Berkemeyer, 40 yr. USF friends. Sue and Richard, watch out if you read this, because we will be going back.When we got home we had a busy but fun weekend as Luke came home for overnight and to pick up his dog Mary Jane, who has been visiting us, and many noble friends in our travels. To our surprise, Sean McGivern, a cousin’s son, Luke’s age was also in the city and was able to have a short visit, and of course, Ellen joined us. Sun. my very close SCL friends Sr. Noreen made a huge effort to get here for a visit. She could only stay overnight, but we had non-stop talk. Clark had some kind of a once every 10 yr. “sinking spell”, and slept about 24 hrs. and was better in 2-3 days. It is so unusual for him to be sick, neither of us know much to do.

Several of the side effects of the chemo, and the cancer have really slowed me down, and while that isn’t too much fun, the limitations are crystal clear. The first life-style effects were that I was unusually light headed and dizzy. So, my walking was limited. I was also very anemic and really short on breath and stamina. I also have lost weight and muscle tone, so those area all projects to work on. My last trip to NY I had a 2 unit transfusion of red blood cells, so that has really helped. I also felt like I shouldn’t be driving in those first weeks, so I didn’t even do short errands for a while. I now am very much better, and feel confident in necessary day driving. I have had to miss my Book Club, because I haven’t been reading, driving, and am on sheer will or adrenaline 2nd wind after about 7 o’clock. Tonight, the drugs are actually keeping me up. Tennis has been one of the hardest things, but as I say, it is very obvious, and pathetic that it will be a while before I can play. I have a few schemes in that direction. I haven’t been to my Tai Chi class for months, but also hope to have a Fri. home, so I can go.

So, I am forgetting lots of details, but we travel to Houston Fri. and will see Clark’s brother John, wife, Kathy, and later, after spring break, more family. Our trip to Israel/Jordan is with a group, through John and Kathy’s parish, so it will be fun to have special travel time with them.

Please know I do love to hear from you, and spend this time together. Please do keep us in your prayers as we do you. Special Holy Land prayers will be offered for all of you.

Love
Annie/Noel

Hello dear family and friends,

I may not know much of what to say, tonight, but I do enjoy knowing I’m spending the time with you. As a recap, Clark and I went to NY and had my first infusions with the new drugs. The pattern is that they do 2 days of chemo, one about 4-5 hrs., and the 2nd day maybe 3. I also wore a pump overnight which continued the infusion. We checked back in at the clinic a 3rd day, and then traveled home Fri.

So fast forward, we will fly out Mon., stop by the clinic, and then have the infusion Tues. and Wed. home again on Thurs. this time.It’s a hard trip when belly is bloated and I’m pumped full of drugs. So far the side effects are quite clear, and fuzzy, foggy head is one. We had fluids drained today, but my feet are so swollen I can’t get any shoes on–can’t do flipflops in NY this time of year, so anyhow I feel much better having some shoes- if huge, that I can get on.

Our best news is that we are finally getting some desperately needed rain this weekend and snow in ski areas, so we’re still in drought, but this has to help. Please do keep us in your prayers as we do you.
If they can figure out the chemo pattern, we will be able to continue the program at our own cancer center, so that makes it doable. Have a good Feb. and I will be in touch.

Love
Annie/Noel

Dear Family and Friends,

I do hope the year is off to a great start for you. I am very slow these days, much slower that usual. My cancer recurred in late Nov., only 2 months after my second round of chemo. So, although the cancer is back, I haven’t been treated since Oct. We, with our doctor have been investigating several ways to go. We don’t want to go back to another round of traditional chemo, because it hasn’t held. I now know what it is like to have untreated cancer, and it isn’t much fun. We finally decided to work with a doctor in New York, who has had some success with ovarian patients, who are now treated at our local cancer center. So, the differences are he uses lower doses of different drugs in different sequence. We have to go to New York next week for the first appointments, and the first chemo, and once they see how it goes I’ll be able to get it at our local center. So, please, do keep up the prayers.

Christmas/New Year’s was a fabulous time. We had great visits with my sister, Sarah from Denver, and Luke was able to be with us from LA, and John had a long visit, and was joined by his Japanese girlfriend for a week after New Year’s. Ellen, who also lives here was, of course, always in everything and often leading the charge.

Friends continue to be a great source of strength and wisdom. Somehow, I joined our group of X-SCL’s, my former religious community, in Palos Verdes for a long weekend. The last time we met was 4 yrs. ago, so it was great to see everyone and catch up. Tomorrow a friend is having a friends lunch, so that will be fun. Thank you again for all of your support and prayers.

Love
Annie/Noel

Dear Family and Friends,

I did a late summer report last time, but now will try to catch up. I am currently getting break from chemo to let my body recover. Seems as if there are always issues that come up that I don’t expect. I am now doing some trouble shooting on some new aches and pains. Before cancer I would just ignore it for a while and it would go away. Now, I try to document, and see if there is anything natural to do about it. It is so obvious that exercise and physical labor are so good for most things. We continue to eat and cook healthily which luckily we both enjoy.

I need to complete the fall story by telling about two amazing trips. In late Oct. equipped with some U.S. Halloween candy, we headed for Japan to visit our son, John. Because we visited during the X-League playoffs, John was very busy with game preparation. He plays offense primarily, but also goes in for special team plays and defense, so he has to attend all meetings and field practices. We did go over to the Big Blue House and practice field this time, and got to meet and see his teammates and coaches and staff. John can sometimes meet us for dinners, and one day we did spend most of the day together. Clark and I also saw two ND games with the NDTokyo group. My special thrill was actually leaving one of the games when we were comfortably ahead, and getting to play tennis with the Moynihans and friends over at the American Housing area. John joined us for dinner after another long day of practice. Clark and I then travelled to Kyoto for our days of exploring and sightseeing. We were blessed with great weather, and did get to see a lot of the fall colors. The NIshiki market, bamboo forest and Tenryuji Shrine and Temple were highlights. When we returned to Tokyo we met John, his girlfriend Sayuri, and several of his teammates at Andy’s, an amazing fish place. Saturday was IBM Big Blue’s first of two playoff games. The game did not go their way, but the other team was very good. John had a number of friends who were able to attend, and a nice dinner with a big group softened the blow. The following week when we weren’t there they had a decisive win over a top team. John caught 11 passes, three for TD’s and one for 2 pts. after.

Sunday we did our second ND game watch, enjoying a win over Navy. We had a special dinner with John and then headed back home on Mon. The Asian jet lag is something- so we knew what to expect. Ellen and I flew out on Wed. to Denver, where Sarah picked us up for a drive to Lawrence, Ks. to a family wedding. We planned to do a little bird watching on the way at Great Bend, KS. It was another project to try to see the Whooping Cranes, but didn’t have time to work that all in. We thought the road trip would be fun and give we sisters a good chance to catch up, and it worked well. For those of you who know the Murphys, this was Rosemary and Jack’s son, Doyle and Jenna. Rosemary and her 4 siblings are our first and only cousins—-so we have remained close, although spread out all over. It was a beautiful wedding and all the surrounding ceremonies and festivities were so well done. We finshed the weekend with a gourmet brunch with John Stone and wife Carmelita, who came over to Lawrence.

So, saving the biggest news for last. Luke received the great news that he did pass the CA Bar exam. This is a very big deal in getting himself launched as an attorney. The result of a lot of intense study and preparation. Luke, his buddy Jeff, and dog, Mary Jane, joined us for Thanksgiving weekend. We had a fabulous feast with friends who also had invited a group of 20-30 somethings, so it was a delightful group and dinner. Luke and Jeff saw friends in SF that evening and we all went to the ND Stanford tailgating and game. Unfortunely, as you may have seen we lost by 7. Great day! We have so much to be thankful for. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we do.

Love and many prayers
Annie/Noel

Dear Family and Friends,

As always, the holiday season just seems to pop up after fall. Here in CA our Japanese maples have just turned an amazing deep red, the golds are goldie, and I still have a few tomatoes in my garden. Today we are having a gradual rain, which is badly needed in this time of drought. It is also good because it motivates me to stay inside and take care of e-mails and mostly do my blog. I do get intimidated every time I start so I just have to push thru the beginnings. One thing I have strategized is that I am going to divide my letter, so I can get to things, but not be too long. Look for part 2 next week.

So, first news for those of you with Falls City or SCL connections is that Sr. Mary Hilaria died at the Mother House on Nov. 2. I was actually travelling back to Ks. the next week, for a Murphy wedding, but didn’t get there for the funeral. She had been failing for about a year, but died peacefully with the support of the sisters. Sr. Therese Bangert gave a beautiful tribute to her at the Mass. We had remained close friends thru the years. After returning to the MH she had especially enjoyed auditing classes over at St. Mary, and usually took two courses a semester. I will miss our visits.

For my health report, I do have a break from chemo therapy. This time the Dr. would have preferred to keep going for a while with the chemo, but my blood was getting pretty far down, and it was best to let the body rest, and the bone marrow go back to work. My cancer seemed to be under good control for the time, and so I do get a break. After my first round of chemo I had 9 months before it came back- so I’ll do all of the healthy things I can do, and we’ll see if we can keep it away longer. It is curious with my cancer, that this time, even when in treatment, I do have periods of feeling good. As
long as I take my naps, and get my exercise, etc. things seem to go OK. I did have a number of delays because my blood counts were often not good, but it just slowed down the treatment, but didn’t seem to
make it less effective.

After a great summer of having good visits with Sarah, Luke and John, we had a great trip to southwestern France with the Seattle Stantons, and several friends. Jim and Jolanne had purchased a week in a French farmhouse that had been a B and B and then a private residence. It was a beautiful traditional farmhouse that now slept 12 or more, and had a swimming pool, tennis court, gourmet kitchen, and great group areas. We had great groups for sightseeing, hiking, tennis, cooking, eating, and of course drinking. We always had fresh fruit foraged from the trees or roadside,fabulous fresh breads, and great meals out and at home. We flew in to Toulouse, and spent several days exploring the area.Carcassone and Peyrepertuese were two amazing areas- one a walled medieval city which still has busy shops and restaurants and is a favorite for French tourists. Peyrepertuese was a castle with several fortresses built high on a steep hill. The climb/walk up was breathless and breathtaking, and the views were spectacular 360’s. After our fabulous week together of triping and vegging, everyone has different extended travel plans. We spent several days at Lourdes. It was the first rain we’d had in France, and it rained on and off for 2 days- but didn’t deter any of the activity. John had such a wonderful service experience in Lourdes, he had sort of told us what not to miss. Highlights were the baths, which we both took, the evening processions, and just the sheer number of people there-despite the rain. It was a great way to end the trip. We enjoyed the other couples, and it was a great chance to spend time with Jim and Jolanne, and our nephews, Matthew, James and George.

I am probably missing all kinds of things, but I do want to be in touch before the craziness of the holidays is in full swing. Do remember us in your prayers as we do you.

Love Annie/Noel